Dog Accessories: All Bark, No Bite

      I’m always looking for interesting home accessories, particularly ones that reflect something about the owners–where they’ve traveled to, where they’ve lived, or something which reflects their hobbies or interests. Recently I purchased three hand carved wooden jazz musicians, for example, for a client’s soon to be completed recreation room. She and her boyfriend have always loved New Orleans and what a better way to represent the love of the Big Easy than to accessorize with a little of the culture.
     This same client asked my opinion on if she should custom frame two candid photos of her beloved Yorkie dogs. I thought the idea was perfect and the only advice that I gave her was to make the photos sepia, versus color, to tie into the color scheme of the space.
     I will admit to displaying a few pet accessories in my home. Years ago a close friend gave me two small, bronze, dachshund figurines shortly after one of our family pets had passed away. I grew up with Snooky, followed by Pappy, and eventually Buffy as beloved dachshund pets, so to me, proudly displaying them in my Dad’s guest room reminds me of the love that I had for each of them. And yes, in my great room, I do have a photo of Seinfeld, my Garfield wanna-be cat that I had dearly loved for over seventeen years. And, recently a houseguest gave me a hostess gift which is a framed photo of my rescue cat Skipper who is the newest addition to the house.
     But, small unobtrusive pet figurines and a few tastefully displayed photos of my furry roommates are where I draw the line. We all love our pets, but do we have to go overboard? A couple of weeks ago, I was shopping for a client, and in a few short hours, I came across a handful of dog accessories that I thought were both hilarious and tacky and definitely were all bark and no bite.
     First, take a look at the dog lamp to the left.  Ask yourself, “Do dogs really need to be in clothes?” Granted, Paris Hilton dresses her little pooches in the cutest of clothes, but she can get away with it. She’s Paris Hilton for Pete’s sake. But, do we really need to see a lamp with a dog holding a staph in a gentleman’s jacket? What vibe do you get when you look at the lamp in the photo below? Classiness? Protection? I’d rather see a live dog playing fetch with a tooth-marked stick than I would a pursed lipped, staph holding, gentleman’s jacket wearing pooch.

     You think that’s bad, check out the dog soldier in the picture to the left.  At least the doggie lamp above had some functional purpose but this beauty is just a dust-collecting figurine one might display on the top of a sofa table or in a lit built-in. Seriously? When I saw this I immediately thought of the Gamorrean guards that protected Jabba The Hut in George Lucas’s Return of Jedi movie. (See the resemblance?)   Lucas’s character is much more intimidating and it’s actually a pig, not a dog, but with all of the clothes on the thing, it’s no wonder I couldn’t tell the difference. Again, animals should not wear clothes, people, unless they are in a fictional movie.
    

     Finally, one of my favorite dog accessories of the day is this doggie umbrella stand. (At least I think that’s what this is.) I don’t know about you, but I’ll keep my wet umbrella outside on the porch or dump it in a cylinder shaped container. If I am invited over to someone’s house that has purchased this accessory, first I’d bark, roll over, and then quickly ask for a double dirty martini with three olives before I make my way out of the foyer.

     I appreciate the need for folks to symbolize their love of pets in their home accessories, but perhaps they should stick with their favorite snapshot of Fido in a unique frame or showcase a few, small unobtrusive accessories. Decorating doesn’t have to be boring, doggone it. So I beg of you, don’t roll over and give into the temptation of a pricey accessory resembling a pet.